I know a woman who I'll call "Phoebe". Phoebe has a challenge. It effects every minute of her life, it limits what she can achieve, it makes it hard for her to fully benefit from her faith, it even makes her opinions about herself suspect.
Phoebe doesn't look afflicted with problems, in fact she uses her energy to make up for her lack of inner enthusiasm..Most people think she is the positive "energizer bunny" type. She has achieved many worthwhile things. Phoebe is talented, charming and well behaved. But Phoebe has a secret.
She hopes nobody notices that she doesn't take any risks.
Life hasn't been easy for her. She is acutely aware of her failures but hopes we overlook them behind her "get on with it" attitude. She feels that just keeping up a good front is all she can do. By defining herself that way, she makes it certain that it is all she can do. She wants us all to treat her as if she had succeeded where she has not.
Phoebe is Phoebe's own worst enemy. She doesn't understand that everyone loves Phoebe, that all her efforts to keep up appearances just wear her out and don't do much to improve her standing with us. It's hard to improve your standing when everyone who knows you thinks you are amazing already. But she keeps at it, running feverishly just to stay in place. What's really wrong?
Fear.
Phoebe is afraid of failing. She is afraid we'll find out she is a complete fraud. She's afraid she just doesn't have "it". Her character in her opinion is just a list of "not enoughs". She looks in the mirror and past the beauty there, counting every wrinkle and blemish since she thinks she is plain or ugly. She doesn't show her brilliance, instead settles for the lesser degree of achievement which she is sure to reach. She substitutes order for creativity. She substitutes obedience for principle. She substitutes elaborate planning for organic growth. She lives by the rules rather than risk the struggle.
The Bible asks us "Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?", [Mark 4:40] and tells us "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." [I Timothy 1:7]. Fear gives way to faith, but we have to banish our fears to make a place for faith to work its miracles.
Phoebe knows fear, it is a long time companion. Her upbringing was in a tradition that used fear and guilt to exert power. Phoebe doesn't like fear but it is familiar, there are no risks clinging to fear. She is trying to fill herself with loads of faith but doesn't see that she must exile fear or faith will not have the ability to make itself a home.
Fear is hopelessness and powerlessness, faith is hope and power. Faith requires risk, great faith requires risking all. Faith is not built up by following rules or by obeying without understanding. Faith without actions is dead.
Phoebe doesn't look afflicted with problems, in fact she uses her energy to make up for her lack of inner enthusiasm..Most people think she is the positive "energizer bunny" type. She has achieved many worthwhile things. Phoebe is talented, charming and well behaved. But Phoebe has a secret.
She hopes nobody notices that she doesn't take any risks.
Life hasn't been easy for her. She is acutely aware of her failures but hopes we overlook them behind her "get on with it" attitude. She feels that just keeping up a good front is all she can do. By defining herself that way, she makes it certain that it is all she can do. She wants us all to treat her as if she had succeeded where she has not.
Phoebe is Phoebe's own worst enemy. She doesn't understand that everyone loves Phoebe, that all her efforts to keep up appearances just wear her out and don't do much to improve her standing with us. It's hard to improve your standing when everyone who knows you thinks you are amazing already. But she keeps at it, running feverishly just to stay in place. What's really wrong?
Fear.
Phoebe is afraid of failing. She is afraid we'll find out she is a complete fraud. She's afraid she just doesn't have "it". Her character in her opinion is just a list of "not enoughs". She looks in the mirror and past the beauty there, counting every wrinkle and blemish since she thinks she is plain or ugly. She doesn't show her brilliance, instead settles for the lesser degree of achievement which she is sure to reach. She substitutes order for creativity. She substitutes obedience for principle. She substitutes elaborate planning for organic growth. She lives by the rules rather than risk the struggle.
The Bible asks us "Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?", [Mark 4:40] and tells us "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." [I Timothy 1:7]. Fear gives way to faith, but we have to banish our fears to make a place for faith to work its miracles.
Phoebe knows fear, it is a long time companion. Her upbringing was in a tradition that used fear and guilt to exert power. Phoebe doesn't like fear but it is familiar, there are no risks clinging to fear. She is trying to fill herself with loads of faith but doesn't see that she must exile fear or faith will not have the ability to make itself a home.
Fear is hopelessness and powerlessness, faith is hope and power. Faith requires risk, great faith requires risking all. Faith is not built up by following rules or by obeying without understanding. Faith without actions is dead.
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