Looking into the pit

I have stage fright. I didn't think I still did. I thought I had left it behind with the girls I never asked out, the journeys not taken and the paths never chosen. Nope.

Some of you know I've been taking weekly music lessons, the over-the-top gift from mdw, who undoubtedly was as frustrated with my directionless hours with guitar as I was. So now, I've got direction but at a cost. My teacher (above) tells me the next step is public performance. Really public. Not invite the family and close friends but a real public venue. Scary. Stand-up with a band and play scary.


I am a mixed up bag of talents: comfortable in harmony or music theory, no songs memorized, quick to learn progressions, still struggling with finger position: I can reach four frets at the low end of the neck (I need five) but with fingers too fat at the bridge end. Kind of like skating in gravel.

I'm not feeling ready but I want to do it. Really, I've had enough practice playing the fool, looking silly should be no challenge. My goal is to do it about a month from now. Maybe something bluesy.

Trouble in Mind

D7 D7 D7 A7 D7 A7 Trouble in mind, Lord I'm blue D7 G7 But I won't be blue al-ways D7 B7 E7 A7 D7 The sun is gonna shine in my door, shine in my back door someday    D7 lick (G G# A7) I'm gonna lay, lay my head On that lonesome railroad line And let the 2:19 train ease my troubled mind Trouble in mind, well Lord I'm blue now I won't be blue al-ways The sun is gonna shine in my door, shine in my back door someday    instrumental break I'm going down, goin' down to the river I'm going to bring some wine that I can share And if these blues don't leave me, Lord, I'll have to ride away from here Trouble in mind, trouble in mind I'm blue now But I won't be blue always And that sun's gonna shine in my, lord, shine in my back door someday I'm all alone - I'm alone at midnight And the lamp is burning low I've never had so much trouble, in my whole life ever before Trouble in mind, Lord I'm blue now But I won't be blue always And that wind's gonna come - it's gonna blow my blues away...

Chords: D7 G7 B7 E7 A7 G#7 D lick (G)(G#)A7 e |-5--3--7--7--5---4------------------------ B |-7--3--7--9--5---4------------------------ G |-5--4--8--7--6---5----7---7---7----------- D |-7--3--7--9--5---4---7-7-6-6-5-5-4-------- A |-5--5--9--7--7---6------------------------ E |----3--7-----5---4-----------------3-4-5--

[to be continued]

Our phobic life

When entrepreneurs tell their stories a common thread is that they didn't start businesses to get rich. The successful do gain wealth but they say it was never their goal. In fact, many sell their newly successful businesses to other more mundane managers just as they are growing quickly. They have found that what really gets them excited is creation of a new thing or a new relationship.

We're not all entrepreneurs, they are an uncommon skill set but we are creative in unique ways most of which won't make us rich, powerful or famous. That bit of wisdom is merely a comment on how screwed up our economic lives are, not on the value of the creations. After all, if you create a song, a poem, a painting, a decoration, a bauble or a curious mind in just one person isn't that success?

In six decades of more or less regular breathing, a few lessons have penetrated; one being that almost everyone is born curious and creative. Tragically the majority have it trained out of their active lives by inflexible parents, jealous peers, an eduction system that values uniformity, socialization and a work world that wants to determine ones value by a short list of qualities. A few persist with the motivation, courage and originality they were blessed with and make our lives the better for it. How much better would it be if more did?

What is it that kills the curiosity and creativity? Mostly an abundance or fear and risk avoidance. We live our lives as we would walk through a mine field. We carefully consider every step, searching for anything unexpected that might be a threat. We carefully step only where others have already stepped. It's called risk avoidance behavior. It comes from fear, the message of our primitive lizard brain. In simple animals it keeps the animal alive, but how many creative lizards do you know? It  may control their lives but should it control ours? We live in a world where we are extremely unlikely to become prey or starve to death because we don't find our own food.

Keeping in mind that our inner lizard has some vestigial usefulness such as keeping us from walking in front of buses or falling down manholes, we need to put the fear out to the center of our views and stop living like phobic neurotics. Be creative. Take risks. Be curious. Live.

Cognitive dissonance is the prelude to learning

Cognitive dissonance is the prelude to learning.The more confused you are, the more ready you are to learn a better way.

Understanding your role is less important than being you.

When thoughts go in circles it's time to dance, not march.

No amount of studying of ancient texts, meditation or prayer will tell you what direction to go when you don't know what you'll do when you get there.

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" was his response.
"I don't know", Alice answered.
"Then", said the cat, "it doesn't matter.”

When we get no answer to a prayer, the answer may be "do what you think is best".

Fear creates confusion and paralysis.

Don't ask "who am I?", be who you want to be.

Fictions, romances and dramas are never real. They are a way of imagining, a way of pondering our self. We never find our dream mate, we find a messed up, imperfect, insecure, confused and guilt-ridden partner who surprises us with respect, love and devotion.


We are complex, there are no simple explanations of who we are.
Be careful in unmasking people. Sometimes they are only the mask.
The purpose of life is to understand the purpose of life is to understand the purpose of life. Otherwise it's just make babies and die quietly.

Be!  
You can't see yourself in a mirror. When you look really closely at your reflection you don't see the back of your head. The back of your head only exists in another mirror.

Who would Jesus be?

There is an answer to the question but we've forgotten what we asked.

If eternal happiness begins after death then it's not eternal is it?

Palliative for Adrenal Fatigue

1

Speed. Moving rapidly through the environment can be either terrifying or invigorating. You don’t need to drive a car which accelerates from 0 to 100 mph in a few seconds to experience it. Just join the cycle race in your area this year or hire a buggy and go dune bashing. Learn to skate. Go biking. Go skydiving. Ride a roller coaster. Go bungee-jumping. If you live near the coast learn how to surfboard.You get the triple benefit of working that flab away, learning a new skill, and feeling the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

4

Confront your fears. Take stock of your fears and make a pact to conquer them today.Do you fear flying- take that first flight to freedom, do you fear heights- bungee jump your way to see the world as you never have before, if you fear public speaking, join a toastmasters club in your area.

5

Imagine. Imagine yourself in the most difficult of situations, like being in a zombie apocalypse with machine guns, chainsaws, and machetes. Imagine the thrill, the excitement, the experience of going through something so difficult, yet so exciting. The power of being strong also gives you adrenaline rush.

6

Music. A key factor for feeling an adrenaline rush. Play fast music and dance to it. This does actually give you adrenaline rush. You just got to "feel" the music and the vibe to it. It also motivates you to do things at a faster pace. It can also get you pumped up for an important event, like a track competition.